October Wraith

I wander through those leaves

that fell the night before,

feeling that some how I have


something, I wander as though I 

will never recover

who I was


I wander as if the universe collapsed

as soon as I put my head to the pillow last night,

as if there were a gaping hole where my heart use to be.

As soon as I reach the end of the path of the fallen leaves,

I see that yes, of course the universe did collapse, and there is an aching hole where my life use to be.

And I leave the stones I gathered last week 

at the beach on the place where

your ashes have fertilized the ground around your headstone. 

This anniversary is one I strive to forget, but fail.